I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
