im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
