Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize