we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
