The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
