Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
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Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
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I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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