if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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