The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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