on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
