i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
