just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
