remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
