I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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