dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
