You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
