R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
