yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
