Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
