Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
