they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
