It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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