you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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