i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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