Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
