She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
