when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
time to smoke my breakfast
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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