How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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