the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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