just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
