he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
