You're earring is so big in my mouth
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize