She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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