The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize