Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
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Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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