My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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