doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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