so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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