I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
