so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
