I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
smell my finger.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize