I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
