hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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