I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
