oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize