we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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