Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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