I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
