I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
