It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you told grandpa to call you daddy
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
then he tried to convert me to islam
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
