i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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