New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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