Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
pray to the hookup gods
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
