i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
