You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
