btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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