i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
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Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
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He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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