So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
