You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
