No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just had sex on a roof
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
